Uni For Rox: Chapter 12

Pairings: Planned Axel/Roxas, Zexion/Demyx, Hayner/Olette.

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Warnings: Innuendo. Innuendo everywhere.


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Chapter 12: ALONE IN THE BAR!!! (Dun Dun DUUUUUN!)


He sat opposite me and leaned forwards, eyes bright as he stared at me, tapping ash from his cigarette into an empty glass. I felt his knees brush mine under the table.


"So, Rox. " I didn't bother to correct him. "Still standing, eh? We'll have to see to that."


Yuffie appeared with two more pints "For the happy couple." before skipping back to Leon. I stared after her.


"Either she's crazy, or I'm drunk."


"Please, you're not drunk until holding onto the floor becomes a challenge."


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Half an hour later the vodka was gone, and I was entranced by the cocktail menu.


After careful deliberation I declared loudly "One blow job please!" to the two Yuffies staring at me with matching impish grins.


I heard a choking noise, and Axel thumped his chest, eyes watering. He twitched slightly and muttered "Blue Balls on the rocks for me".


Leon gave me the Blow Job, and it was fantastic. I grinned from ear to ear, licking the cream from the top of the glass, already scanning the menu for my next drink while Axel stared at me, jaw slack. I started to suspect the alcohol was affecting him.


Leon looked amused, and coughed pointedly. "Axel."


Axel ignored him, reaching for his own drink, and downing half of it in one go. His eyes never left my face, and I shifted in my seat. "Er, Axe –"


"Roxy. You have cream on your nose."


"Axel."  Leon tapped him on the shoulder and he turned, looking dazed.


A clicking sound in the background distracted me. Yuffie was flicking through an old fashioned jukebox by the bar.


"Axel!" He finally snapped to attention.


"Oh, Lee."


"Yuffie said you wanted to talk to me."


Music flooded the room.


"Sexyyyy! everything about you so sexyyyyy!" Axel looked towards the jukebox sharply, a pained look on his face.


"Yeah – "


"You don't even know what you've got –"


"– it's about Dem." I got too hot, and tried to pull off my hoodie. Failed magnificently. It got caught on my head, and lifted my shirt up with it.


"– You're really hitting my spot –"


"AXEL."


"Oh, right. Dem." I finally fought my way out of my hoodie, and reached for my drink. I drew a smiley face on the condensation of the glass before finishing it off, the music buzzing pleasantly in my head.


"And you're so innocent –"


"I thought your bar could use some –"


I waved to Yuffie, and asked if Screaming Orgasms were any good.  


"Please don't take this wrong 'cos it's a compliment –"


"–Entertainment."


Yuffie looked positively delighted. I wondered why.


"I just wanna get wit' your flow –"


"Dem's a great musician –"


"You gotta learn to let go –"


I asked if I should have a Slow Comfortable Screw or just settle for a French Kiss.


Axel swallowed loudly.


"– and I think you should give him a slot working here."


"Oh baby won't you – "


Leon stayed silent.


"Work it a little –"


Yuffie suggested I have a Pain In The Ass. Though she warned me it was something I'd have to adjust to, in order to fully appreciate.


"Get hot just a little–"


"It would bring in more customers –"


"Let go –"


Yuffie was back in a flash, presenting me with my drink and a challenge; drink it all in one go and get my next drink free.


"Just a little bit more – "


I sucked hard on the straw, determined to succeed.


"Give me– "


" – even just a trial run –" Axel was watching me drink intently.


"Just a little bit more–"


Since he seemed so interested in my drink, I passed him the menu, and pointed it out.


"Let me–"


"– He's got his own guitar – "


"I'll do anything if you just let me – "


"– so all he needs is some floor space – "


"Find a way to make you respond – "


I finished my drink, and beamed around the room victoriously.


"I know you wanna break down those walls– "


Yuffie arrived with my next drink. I thanked her, congratulating myself on my manners when Axel was blatantly ignoring the person he was supposedly having a conversation with. He clearly wasn't as good with his alcohol as everyone seemed to think.


"And it's so challenging – "


Axel rubbed his eyes and sighed. "Yuffie?"


"Yes?"


"Getting close to you's what I'm imagining –"


"Hand me the absinthe, would you?"


"I just wanna see you get down – "


"The whole bottle?"


"You gotta let it all out – "


"Yes. The whole bottle."


"Oh baby won't you just work with me – "


He drank several mouthfuls straight from the bottle, and slammed it down onto the table, face twisted into a grimace. With furious determination, he focused on Leon.


"In-conclusion-I-think-you-should-give-Dem-a-chance-what-do-you-say?"


Leon was swaying alarmingly, and for a surreal moment I thought he was dancing. Then I realised that I was the one dancing, and hoped nobody had noticed.


"Next Friday."


"What?"


"He can play next Friday. Covers. Something the regulars will know. After that, we'll see."


I thought about how happy Dem and Hayner would be once they heard. It felt wrong that they weren't there to celebrate, so in true Noodle Brother style, I leapt up with a "YAY!!!" and fell in a heap on the floor, ass in the air. Dignified.


"It's so exciting –"


I groaned, and pushed myself onto my hands and knees.


"The way you're inviting me, yeah"


I looked back at them, sure I was blushing.


"Can't get enough –"


Axel tilted his head, eyes boring into mine.


"Won't you satisfy my needs –"


He threw back his head, and I wondered if it was a good idea for him to drink so much absinthe straight.


Climbing back onto the chair was a lot more challenging than it had any right to be. By the time I managed it, Leon was gone, and Yuffie was taking an order at the bar.


I picked up my drink. It didn't seem like a good idea to leave it on the table when it was moving around like that.


Yuffie waved from the jukebox. "Hey Axel! What song do you want next?"


He shot her a glare.  "NO! No more songs!" I wondered if absinthe made everybody's voice horse.


"What's that? Nickelback?"


A whir and a click, and the next track fell into place.


"I wanna do it till the sun comes up,
T ill we're both so good and sweaty that we can't stand up!"


Axel put his face in his hands and let out a muffled "NooooOOOOO!"


I peered at him.


"I wanna do it till we're both about to drop,
As long as we got it together,
Then we're never gonna stop,"


I started to get seriously worried when he let his head slam onto the table with a cry of "Whyyyy Yuffie? WhyyyYYYY?"


I watched Yuffie burst into what looked suspiciously like a victory dance.  


"I wanna go until the neighbors all complain
Because they heard somebody screaming
And they think we're both in pain."


I peered closer. A spike of red hair poked me in the nose.


"Hey, are you ok?"


"I wanna go so long, your parents think you died
They're gonna call the cops, the CIA and then the FBI!"


He groaned into the table. "NOOOOOOOO!"


"Yeah, we're gonna love it when the lights go down
Hold on, here we go!"


"Wow. You must really hate this song."


"Yeah, we're gonna go until our legs give out
Round and round we gooo!"


"It sounds pretty good to me."


If I didn't know any better, I'd swear I heard him whimper.


By half 2, I was pointing at the menu blindly. Every time I tried to read it, letters swirled on the page. The few regulars who had been drowning their sorrows in The Waterway had disappeared. Looking back, I think it might have had something to do with Axel striding towards the jukebox, ripping out the plug and howling when it continued to play. They must have been used to his meltdowns, because nobody was around 5 minutes later, when he impaled the machine with a nearby stool.


Sparks flew as AC DC jarred. A final kick, and the room was suddenly silent. Yuffie looked heartbroken, so I carried on where the song left off.


"You!
Shook me aaaalllll niiiight long!"


Yuffie cackled and joined in, hauling me out of my seat and linking her arm through mine as Leon appeared in the doorway, scowling at the mangled jukebox.


"That was new."


She waved her dishcloth in the air, as Axel stomped towards me.


"Yeah you!
Shook me aaaalllll niiiight lo – Gah!"


Fingers hooked in the back of my shirt and I was dragged towards the door, as Axel bellowed "We're LEAVING!"  


I stumbled outside and turned to see him brandishing a claw hand in Leon's face, eyes wild, teeth bared as he spat "Blame. Yuffie."


Yuffie waved the dishcloth like a flag, "Byyyeeeee, Roooxas!"


I tried to wave back, but was distracted by the floor zooming towards my face.


I hovered above the ground, waiting for the world to make sense.


"Nice catch."


Ah. I'd fallen over. Axel's breath ghosted over my neck, his arms around my waist. Yuffie catcalled as he helped me up, slinging my arm over his shoulder.


I chuckled "Hey, Zex was right Axe! You were the lass man shtanding!"


He threw a wave over his shoulder as Leon and Yuffie went to close up the bar.


"Well, that was fun!"

Axel helped me stagger down the path towards home. "You know for someone who's not big on people, you sure make a happy drunk Roxy."

"Roxas." I mumbled, and fell into oblivion.


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