Lady Ga Ga – Like It Rough: "Is it 'cuz you don't mean it, or because I don't feel it, unless it's rough?"
I sat on the edge of my bed, staring intently at the door. It was locked. Twisting the bed sheets underneath my hands, I wondered how long it would hold.
Axel was on his way. And he was furious.
Larxene and the others were out, leaving the house cold and empty. The silence hung heavy around me, a stifling false sense of calm that numbed my limbs and clouded my mind. I waited for him to arrive, and break my world into a million tiny pieces. Biting my lip, I pushed down the flutter of excitement that curled in my stomach. He was pissed.
An unfinished essay lay amongst the debris of crisp packets and scribbled notes. Unpaid bills written in angry red letters were pinned to the board above my bed. Normal, routine worries that easily fell into the background, because Axel knew I was leaving.
Things had always been strange with Axel. Everything he does is etched into my mind with a vicious clarity that I sometimes think could drive me insane. Even the very first time I saw him, his wicked smile and wild laugh so out of place in the quiet art room. He'd slashed at the wide canvas, smearing dark lines of red across its surface with his bare hands, and when he turned to look at me, all I could see was blood and fire dripping from his fingertips.
Early on, I found myself starting fights. Deep cutting words paired with cold, hard eyes. Anything to get a rise, anything to feel his fire. He'd swagger, sarcasm incarnate for days, sometimes weeks, before his smile turned feral, eyes gleaming a challenge. I'd grin back as he lunged at me, loving the sting of skin breaking under sharp knuckles, the taste of blood on my lips as his eyes danced green and bright, focused entirely on me.
I loved fighting with Axel. In those days, it was the only time he got close enough for me to touch.
Years passed, and from fights in the hallways, knuckles coated in sweat, skin and blood that wasn't our own, we somehow became what other people would call best friends.
It might have had something to do with the time seven seniors took him behind the bike shed and tried to beat him shitless. For being arrogant, for talking back, for breaking the mould and showing no fear. For being him.
Lost somewhere between logic and fury, I silently followed as Axel lashed out with words and limbs. As he was dragged out of sight, his eyes caught mine and shone with a brutal light that made my lip curl. Adjusting the hold on my skateboard, I drew back my arm and broke it over the nearest senior's face. Before he'd even hit the ground, Axel was kicking the legs from underneath the two holding his arms, and in seconds we were standing back to back, teeth flashing, ready to send them all to Hell.
A screech on the driveway made my pulse jump. The bang of a car door, and my thoughts ground to a halt as he screamed "ROXAS!"
Not even in the house, and he was already screaming.
I didn't need to see him to know he was livid. Face twisted into something fierce and dangerous. A snarling, raging psychopath ready to destroy... heading straight for me. I clenched my fists, barely aware of the strange smile working its way onto my lips, or the nails biting into my skin. Any minute now…
Endless bursts of violence, flashes of pain and adrenaline. By the time uni rolled in, we weren't just fighting with our fists. Nails, teeth and lips were all fair game. Searing skin and burning trails all over our memories.
The slam of the front door, and excitement shot through my veins. I listened to him thunder up the stairs and stood, eyes narrowed at the door, ready to face him. A moment of silence, pure and horrifying, broken only by the sound of my own pounding heartbeat, and then…
"Is it true?" Voice strained, quiet almost. Laced with disbelief, rage, and hurt.
I stayed silent and waited, eyes never leaving the door.
"Let me in, Rox."
The only thing left between him and me.
"Let me in, or I swear," A violent kick to the door, and I flinched, nerves on edge. "I will break this fucker down."
For me, violence and the truth have always walked hand in hand. People can pretend to be anything at all, but you'll never see someone's true face until they lose control. This was never as true as it was for Axel. A sardonic bastard to the bitter end, feared and loving it. But under that, there's so much chaos I can almost feel it crackle under my hands when I touch his skin.
The door shook with each furious attack, fists hammering into the splintering wood, as somehow the lock held. A break in the noise, a second of peace, and then one final, vicious kick. The door rocketed forwards into the room, to stand bent and broken, one set of hinges ripped from the wood, lock flying through the air and hitting the far wall with a noise that didn't even register in my mind, because Axel had arrived. He stared straight at me, expression terrifying, looking like he was born to kill.
Stance casual, hands in pockets, I feigned disinterest.
"Who told you then?"
A growl, and he was surging forwards. One hand snatched at my collar, as he shoved me against the wall.
"Sure as Hell wasn't you, was it?"
He leaned closer, pushing an arm against my throat. Cruel and unrelenting, he murmured "How long have you been planning this?"
"Does it matter?"
A solid punch to the gut. Don't know why he bothered. The force of his eyes alone was enough to knock the breath out of me.
I gasped through ragged breaths. "Two months."
I wondered if he even knew. Thought of all the other nameless faces who might fall for bright blue eyes and soft blonde hair. Of Axel in all his wild, broken glory. I wondered why it always came back to him. If he realised that even now, body pressed against mine full of so much anger he was shaking, it still wasn't enough.
"So this means nothing to you?!" His words lashed against my face. Eyes closed, I stayed silent, willing him to make it mean something. Make me stay. Show me I was worth fighting for.
"You won't leave." He said. A statement. An order. My fingers worked their way under his t-shirt, curling into claws and raking down his sides. He shuddered, leaning more heavily against me.
"I won't let you. I'll pin you to this fucking wall for the rest of your days, if that's what it takes."
I breathed into his neck. Soaked up the danger coming off him in waves, and smiled. With a dark chuckle, I bit down, and tugged on red hair.